There have been times when I think I am 'floating' with a piece of art and after spending a decent amount of time on it, I realize that I don't like what I am looking at. Somewhere in there, I had built an expectation of what I wanted it to look like, and it's not happening. There is then a part of me that wants to make it right-- the part that is invested in the time and the expectation. I want a payoff on my investment!
There is another part of me that knows that the investment in time and expectation is just a game in my head. I have successfully built a story about my conditional preferences. And when the story doesn't add up to my expected result, I now have a reason to lament the outcome or try to control the hell out of it.
This little dance is a game of separation. Instead of being with the process in an unconditional way-- not caring about the outcome, and allowing what is, I have separated myself from that process and made it into a control-based event. I find myself wanting to control the outcome, based on my invested time and expectation. So it becomes me and my big story that is intent on controlling this little piece of art.
Unconditional allowance= me being the art
Conditional control= me vs. the art
How many moments in the day are spent this way, taking action based on our investment and expectation, (which we made up to begin with)? Then we get all entitled about getting a payoff for the investment and expectation. Then we set out to control it so we can get the payoff all squared away so we can feel better. A little like tail-chasing:) Why not just be with all of our moments in an allowed way, allowing and accepting what is, and taking action where our intuition tells us to go, instead of clinging to our IDEA of what we are entitled to.
We sometimes spend so much time protecting our investment, that we can forget the essence of why we spent so much time on something to begin with: our true inner connection with it.