It has often occurred to me that I might have bad hair karma. I have to wonder if I was Sweeney Todd in a past life. I have so many 'hair-gone-wrong' stories that someone once said I should write a little book.
This past week I mustered up my mettle and tried a new hair stylist (again!). The results? Well, it's a great cut by a master designer (my pocketbook really bit the bullet), but it's very short. Usually when someone goes this far, I don't like it. But this time, I was reminded of a what my husband said to me after one of my other really-really-really short ones, "It's not how it looks, it's how it feels." When he said that, I realized that the shorter hair did feel more free (my hair is ultra thick).
I was fully aware as I was getting this week's cut, that all through the process, I could feel that this designer was intentfully doing what he felt was best. He took his time, made sure I knew what he was going to do. He was really connected to his process and to my hair at the same time. That in itself was a really fun experience. I knew he was cutting lots off, but I was so enjoying watching him work with his whole heart, that what it felt like was more meaningful than what it looked like. Now, of course, everyone will say they like my hair, and I don't know if they are just being nice, but really, I don't care. And that is just because of what the whole experience felt like.
It's How it Feels.
When it comes to the process of creating anything, how it feels while we are creating it is the meaningful part. What the end product looks like, well, who really cares in the long run? It's hard to let that part go to nothing. But the more we practice letting the product go, the more connected to the process we can become. And the more connected to the process we become, the more we can appreciate what the process FEELS like.
In college, our drawing teacher asked us to spend a couple hours rendering a still life. At the end of the two hours she asked us to crumple our papers and throw them away. It was brutal at the time, but our most meaningful lesson. Her point was, of course: it IS the process. It IS how it feels, rather that what it looks like, that is the essence of the exercise.
So today I will tangle like I care about each and every line, but I will tangle like I don't care what the line looks like.